Thursday, July 19, 2007

Bitter Black Woman and Self hating Black Men

First and foremost, I am not calling all sistas bitter. This blog is however, directed at the growing number of sisters which have been hurt, scarred, and/or abandoned by self-hating, destructive black men. I am a professional, formally educated black man deeply rooted in the black community, but not so much so that I am disinfranchised with the greater society. I was raised in a single parent household with my mom and three sisters so the love and admiration I have for women goes without saying.

There is a growing number of sisters that have purchased into the theatrical theme "Something New" (whereas the ideal mate for a sucessful independent black woman is a white man), which suggest that black men are all uneducated, unsucessful, unloving or sex crazed. Believe it or not, there are websites and blogs galore that support this idea along with the mass media. Personally, I am liberal and feel that a person should be with whomever they choose. But, the reason that these themes suggest getting a man of non-color is almost always justified by the degradation of black men as a whole. I recently read a blog on this site where black men were accused of being the creators of racio-misogyny (the hatred of a race of women). I can say in all honesty that SOME black men are perpetuators of this evil, but the belittling of black woman began long, long before them. I'm not going to go into the history but with very little research you should find supporting evidence like uhh....slavery and jim crow laws.

Also, there is nothing new about white men and black women being together. Women are attracted to power which in America requires capital that black men almost exclusively do not have. In addition, a black man without money or fame almosts will not stand a chance of seriously dating an equally-yoked, desireable white woman. It seems black men and woman are alot less discrimanatory when it comes to dating outside of their race. This suggest many things. Black woman and men are more accepting, and take less pride in lineage.

Lineage has lost its luster in the black community since around the time we were imported to this country. Most african-americans are a melting pot of bloodlines due to the raping of our women. I also believe that it wasn't always rape back then -- black women were made the head of the family during those times as men and boys were often sold away purposely as marriage was widely forbidden and it is within reason to believe that they did as they often do now -- give up some of themselves and in return, nurture what means most -- the black child.

If for no other reason, black men and woman need to admit their faults, atone, and act analytically, the black child should be it. Not making excuses, but black men were messed up during slavery, psychologically. We're still learning to love ourselves, our woman, and child again. The self hatred is expressed in the way the black woman and child are treated and degraded. Black woman, tired of carrying the load alone, have begun to develop and employ the same attitude. However, if you fight fire with fire, you only leave the village burned to ashes and the villagers seeking shelter.

In closing, the black community cannot exist without all of man, woman, and child. I know many can see the big picture so I'll close with these words: Where there is no vision, the people perish.

1 comment:

Bob King said...

Interesting perspective, which I will commend to others.

However, as a Pale American, I resent the implication that I'm "colorless." :P

Actually, like most folks in this great nation, a little admixture took place over the years, and I'm rather proud of my great, great grand aunt - the octaroon.

Yep, by the assumptions of homeopathy, I'm more powerfully black than... well, certainly OJ Simpson.

Anyhoo, let me just say that, having been exposed to poor black culture and rich white culture, coming from an educated middle class perspective, I'd rather be poor and black than rich and white .

Money IS attractive, and it does present opportunities, but imho, it's easier to deal with poverty than the restrictions imposed upon the very rich and very white - the worse for it being like water to a fish.

It's possible for a poor black person - with the help of their community - to become wealthy and influental, if that's their goal. Traveling the other way ain't near so easy.

Which brings me to your observations about salt-and-pepper couples. I wonder if part of the attraction for white women is perspective and experience?

Oh, and speaking as a person living with the effects of several recessive genes - there is much to be said for hybred vigor.